Parting words of wisdom....

One of my favorite things to ask adults, whether recovering addicts at a homeless shelter or successful business men and women, is: if you could impart any wisdom, any advice, upon young people today, what would it be?

I’m afraid that if asked this question I would have way too much to say.

More than anything, I would remind them that they are gifted, they are beautiful, they are valuable.  They are not valuable just because of what they can do…. of how they can perform, of how intelligent they are, or how many letters they have on their Jacket; no, they are valuable just by merit of being the only them ever to exist.  They are valuable because they are made in the image of God and are a temple of the Divine spirit dwelling within them.

After that, I would say: life is hard and people are imperfect.  Good people die, bad people win, things happen that are out of your control and the world is messy.  Even so, life is worth it.  What matters most in life are not the things we accumulate, our possessions, our awards, what matters are our relationships.  People matter.  One good day, one good conversation that is honest, one true connection with another human soul can make all the other chaos more than acceptable. 

Our role on this earth is not to be perfect people so that bad things don’t happen to us.  Our role is to be the very best version of our self that we possibly can be and to wake up every day with the determination to try again to do the same.  Our role is to be grateful for the incredible beauty that surrounds us and to do our part to love one another.

Loving one another is hard.  (This goes back to the whole we’re not perfect thing).  But we try… and we remember that loving, forgiving, embracing, is way better than the alternative.  Every time I have loved another person, I have grown… I have experienced joy… I have been fulfilled.  Loving other people is worth it, even when they don’t love you back because loving other people reminds us about who we are and what we yearn for.   Be compassionate, empathetic, and nonjudgmental….  look for the good in people and the good you shall find.    

Loving ourselves is hard too.  Sometimes we are paralyzed with guilt.  In that case, we need to forgive ourselves…. we need to give ourselves a break and allow ourselves the right to be human.  Sometimes instead we cover our guilt with pride and refuse to admit our own shortcomings.  In these times, we need to develop the ability to laugh at ourselves.  We need to be able to admit our mistakes with grace and earnestness. 

Then there is loving God.  When we’re not sure how to love others or ourselves, loving God seems like an unbearable task.  So, start small.  Start with believing.  Start with believing in something bigger than yourself….  start with recognizing that the universe is large, and significant, and beautiful.  Start with believing that beyond everything you have ever witnessed and everything before and after you, there is something holding it all together… something to have created it all.  Start where you are and explore, question, doubt, etc., until you find yourself to a place of genuine conviction and Truth.  Never stop asking questions or taking steps on the journey.

Finally, and perhaps most important of all, trust yourself.  Learn to drown out all of the outside noise and listen to your own inner voice… the voice that is telling you who to be.  At the end of the day, the only person you can control is you and the only person you have to live with is you.  Be somebody you can live with… be somebody worth emulating… be someday that you can be proud of.  Don’t sell yourself short, follow your heart, dream big dreams, touch souls.

When I was working as a chaplain intern someone told me that the five most important things for someone to say before they die are these:  Thank you.  Please forgive me.  I forgive you.  I love you.  Good-bye. 

Do these every day whenever appropriate to whomever is appropriate.

That’s it, that’s all I got. 

For those to whom I have not said it enough: thank you.  Thank you for inspiring me, for changing me, for loving me. 

Please forgive me for the times I have not lived up to your expectations of me, for the times I have let you down. 

I forgive you for the time times you as well have been less than you could be. 

I love you, truly and deeply. 

And finally, good-bye, not forever, but for now until God wills our next encounter.