Patience is a Virtue

“Patience is a virtue”.  It’s interesting to me that we use these words commonly while we don’t really say “kindness is a virtue” or “honesty is a virtue” or “humility is a virtue”, even though they are.  I wonder if the reason we are so stuck on patience is because it is just really hard. 

When I was in college I worked at Home Depot as a cashier.  One day my line was particularly long and for whatever reason it was taking a while to ring thru the customer I was serving.  As I continued working with the customer in front of me, the female customer next in line was getting noticeably more agitated and impatient.   Finally, in a not so graceful moment, I turned to this woman and said with a degree of force, “be patient”.  Be patient.  Two simple words that are so unbelievably hard to live into. 

Being patient requires that we accept where we are and acknowledge where we are as an okay place to be.  Accepting where we are spans an enormous array of degrees from accepting our place in the grocery line to accepting our place in life… our place in relationships.. in work.. in recovery.  By being impatient we are saying that there is something wrong about where we are or who we are with or what we are doing.  Sometimes it feels like there is definitely something wrong about where we are or who we are with or what we are doing and so irritation, anger, or disappointment arise in us manifested as impatience.  Makes sense.  Impatience makes a lot of sense.  I get it, and yet, I wonder how useful it is.

Getting upset about being stuck in traffic has never made traffic move any faster or me feel any better.  Fretting incessantly about not having a job when I was unemployed didn’t appear to increase the number of interviews or offers I received.  There is something about patience to me that says where you are right now, whether or not it is where you intended to be, is okay.  It’s acceptable.  It’s enough.

When I release the impulse to change the circumstances I am in and to control the uncontrollable, I feel a settling within myself.. a settling of my body, mind, and soul.  I settle into the moment in front of me, normally by taking a deep breath, and merely allow myself to be.  Impatience seems to arise from all of the doing, the constant rushing, we are so apt to make a habit out of our lives.  Patience requires being.  It requires mindful attention to our current place in life and a reworking of how we perceive that place. 

Although I highly appreciate and recommend watching this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgeuCgODgv4, I believe true patience takes more than calmly waiting.  Calmly waiting is definitely a start.  But from there lies the invitation not merely to wait for the next moment to arrive but to appreciate and even celebrate this present moment.  Right here, right now. 

“As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life.”

― Gautama Buddha