Holy Saturday

Today in Arizona, the sun is shining, the wind chimes singing, the breeze gently swaying... it truly is Holy Saturday. Yesterday we experienced the solemn, bare, dark nature of Good Friday. We were brought into the death and darkness of our own souls, our own lives. Today we begin anew; we rejoice at the life that is again; we experience the hope and light and warmth of Spring.

This weekend we've surprisingly spent a lot of time talking about the Second Coming. Some people think it's near, as if it will happen in my life time most certainly. And so the resulting conclusion is repent and get as many people converted to Christ as you can before it occurs... do what you can to get yourself and those you love into Heaven.

I don't know what I believe about the Second Coming. I guess it could be soon. I do think a lot of the "signs" in existence today are of human making.. a result of humanity's failure to take care of each other and the world. Even so, say it really is happening, I don't think my response would be to convert as many people as I can.. at least not through the evangelization of creed and doctrine. I think my response would be to love as many people as I can.. feed as many people as I can... clothe as many people as I can... visit and care for and be with as many people as I can.
I truly think that that's what God wants from us; to be with one another. I think God could care less what I personally believe in if I am not doing anything to uphold His beautiful creation, to nurture life and promote respect for the dignity of all.

I keep coming back to the words of St. Frances, "Preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words." If I am going to bring anyone to Jesus, it will be through my actions... not an espousal of my beliefs.

And, in the end, I'm not sure were not all going to end up in Heaven anyway. Jesus came for us all, to save us all. I'm not sure it's out job to decide or estimate or judge what the limitations of that might or might not be.

I think we should profess our beliefs because that's what you do when you believe in something.. you admit it, you stand behind it, you affirm it. And I think we should love one another because in our heart of hearts we know that that's what we are all about.. that we're meant for relationship.. that we're all a part of the same whole.. that to care for ourselves, we must care for one another and to care for one another we must care for ourselves.

As a Christian I believe that Jesus did the hard part; he did the hardest thing imaginable. He did it as a human. And thus, I'm called, we're all called, to do likewise. We're called to ask ourselves: What must I die to so that others may live?

The forty days in the desert, the forty days of fasting and letting go are meaningless if they don't affect our life after the resurrection. Lent involves transformation.. it calls us to reorient our lives and bring what was out of balance back into balance. Easter in part is about celebrating the new life that was found through remembering how to let go.. and trust.. and die once more.

Inner Voice

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.

It would be an ambigram that is written so it says one word when read right side up and another when read upside down. I'm thinking of the words "inner" and "voice".

These two words have been on my mind a lot recently. Inner voice, inner wisdom, inner truth. In fact, the past two years have been a journey towards rediscovering my inner voice.. of learning to trust my own inner wisdom.

I truly believe that the divine dwells within us and that we are all born with an innate sense of wisdom and understanding. Some call it conscience or intuition. Whatever you name it, it's present... and it's purpose is to guide us in the direction of life and meaning and goodness and beauty.

The struggle arises when we are bombarded with so many competing voices that they have begun to drown out are own voice. My struggle is a constant desire to please the other voices so much so that I can't even hear my own... or when it does sound, I'm not sure I even recognize it anymore. What other people want and what I want are so melted together that sometimes I can't even tell them apart.

And so, I'm putting my energy into listening. Listening to myself and my desires.. what brings me joy and what closes me up. Scripture tells us that God's voice comes as a whisper. I bet that's how my voice is too.

Thus, if I want to hear it I must learn to be quiet and still. I must allow myself time to rest and breathe.

And then, I must learn to trust. I must trust that I really am capable.. that I really do have wisdom... that my own inner voice once heard, is worth heeding.