One of my favorite things to ask adults, whether recovering
addicts at a homeless shelter or successful business men and women, is: if you
could impart any wisdom, any advice, upon young people today, what would it be?
I’m afraid that if asked this question I would have way too
much to say.
More than anything, I would remind them that they are
gifted, they are beautiful, they are valuable. They are not valuable just because of what they can do…. of
how they can perform, of how intelligent they are, or how many letters they
have on their Jacket; no, they are valuable just by merit of being the only
them ever to exist. They are
valuable because they are made in the image of God and are a temple of the
Divine spirit dwelling within them.
After that, I would say: life is hard and people are
imperfect. Good people die, bad
people win, things happen that are out of your control and the world is
messy. Even so, life is worth
it. What matters most in life are
not the things we accumulate, our possessions, our awards, what matters are our
relationships. People matter. One good day, one good conversation
that is honest, one true connection with another human soul can make all the
other chaos more than acceptable.
Our role on this earth is not to be perfect people so that
bad things don’t happen to us. Our
role is to be the very best version of our self that we possibly can be and to
wake up every day with the determination to try again to do the same. Our role is to be grateful for the
incredible beauty that surrounds us and to do our part to love one another.
Loving one another is hard. (This goes back to the whole we’re not perfect thing). But we try… and we remember that
loving, forgiving, embracing, is way better than the alternative. Every time I have loved another person,
I have grown… I have experienced joy… I have been fulfilled. Loving other people is worth it, even
when they don’t love you back because loving other people reminds us about who
we are and what we yearn for. Be compassionate, empathetic, and nonjudgmental…. look for the good in people and the
good you shall find.
Loving ourselves is hard too. Sometimes we are paralyzed with guilt. In that case, we need to forgive
ourselves…. we need to give ourselves a break and allow ourselves the right to
be human. Sometimes instead we
cover our guilt with pride and refuse to admit our own shortcomings. In these times, we need to develop the
ability to laugh at ourselves. We
need to be able to admit our mistakes with grace and earnestness.
Then there is loving God. When we’re not sure how to love others or ourselves, loving
God seems like an unbearable task.
So, start small. Start with
believing. Start with believing in
something bigger than yourself….
start with recognizing that the universe is large, and significant, and
beautiful. Start with believing
that beyond everything you have ever witnessed and everything before and after
you, there is something holding it all together… something to have created it
all. Start where you are and
explore, question, doubt, etc., until you find yourself to a place of genuine
conviction and Truth. Never stop
asking questions or taking steps on the journey.
Finally, and perhaps most important of all, trust
yourself. Learn to drown out all
of the outside noise and listen to your own inner voice… the voice that is
telling you who to be. At the end
of the day, the only person you can control is you and the only person you have
to live with is you. Be somebody
you can live with… be somebody worth emulating… be someday that you can be
proud of. Don’t sell yourself
short, follow your heart, dream big dreams, touch souls.
When I was working as a chaplain intern someone told me that
the five most important things for someone to say before they die are
these: Thank you. Please forgive me. I forgive you. I love you. Good-bye.
Do these every day whenever appropriate to whomever is
appropriate.
That’s it, that’s all I got.
For those to whom I have not said it enough: thank you. Thank you for inspiring me, for
changing me, for loving me.
Please forgive me for the times I have not lived up to your
expectations of me, for the times I have let you down.
I forgive you for the time times you as well have been less
than you could be.
I love you, truly and deeply.
And finally, good-bye, not forever, but for now until God
wills our next encounter.
