“Patience
is a virtue”. It’s interesting to me
that we use these words commonly while we don’t really say “kindness is a
virtue” or “honesty is a virtue” or “humility is a virtue”, even though they
are. I wonder if the reason we are so
stuck on patience is because it is just really hard.
When I was
in college I worked at Home Depot as a cashier.
One day my line was particularly long and for whatever reason it was
taking a while to ring thru the customer I was serving. As I continued working with the customer in
front of me, the female customer next in line was getting noticeably more
agitated and impatient. Finally, in a
not so graceful moment, I turned to this woman and said with a degree of force,
“be patient”. Be patient. Two simple words that are so unbelievably
hard to live into.
Being
patient requires that we accept where we are and acknowledge where we are as an
okay place to be. Accepting where we are
spans an enormous array of degrees from accepting our place in the grocery line
to accepting our place in life… our place in relationships.. in work.. in
recovery. By being impatient we are
saying that there is something wrong about where we are or who we are with or
what we are doing. Sometimes it feels like there is definitely
something wrong about where we are or who we are with or what we are doing and
so irritation, anger, or disappointment arise in us manifested as
impatience. Makes sense. Impatience makes a lot of sense. I get it, and yet, I wonder how useful it is.
Getting
upset about being stuck in traffic has never made traffic move any faster or me
feel any better. Fretting incessantly about
not having a job when I was unemployed didn’t appear to increase the number of
interviews or offers I received. There
is something about patience to me that says where you are right now, whether or
not it is where you intended to be, is okay.
It’s acceptable. It’s enough.
When I
release the impulse to change the circumstances I am in and to control the
uncontrollable, I feel a settling within myself.. a settling of my body, mind,
and soul. I settle into the moment in
front of me, normally by taking a deep breath, and merely allow myself to be. Impatience seems to arise from all of the
doing, the constant rushing, we are so apt to make a habit out of our
lives. Patience requires being. It requires mindful attention to our current
place in life and a reworking of how we perceive that place.
Although I
highly appreciate and recommend watching this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgeuCgODgv4,
I believe true patience takes more than calmly waiting. Calmly waiting is definitely a start. But from there lies the invitation not merely
to wait for the next moment to arrive but to appreciate and even celebrate this
present moment. Right here, right
now.
“As you walk and
eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will miss most of your life.”
